When i try to think of things i like about myself, i never can. Sometimes i just feel that my life has no real meaning or direction but i'd imagine that the whole world was one big machine , machines never come with any extra parts, you know? They always come with the exact amount they need. So i figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. the big problem i'm having is, most of the time i struggle with being alone but everytime i have the chance to connect with someone i will automatically shut myself down and push them away.i just feel that it's so hard for me telling them how i really feel inside that they will be freaked out. i tried to forget my past for so long, but it has caused me nothing but unhappiness. or maybe it's time to remember? I don't like this about myself but i don't know how to stop.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
MOVING ON
when people make you feel unwanted, don't leave to make them feel sad or guilty, they won't. Leave because you no longer have a reason to stay. Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not - won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you.
THE DAYS ARE LONG AND THE YEARS ARE SHORT
What are the things that make you happy?
This is one of the question I ask my friends whenever they feel down or depressed or, simply unhappy. Of course, we have big things in mind. I, for one, have this dream of getting into uni, venturing in a business in future, seeing my savings account have a lump of moolah for the rainy days in a year or two, and ALSO repay my parents by giving them the best for the rest of their life. Yes, these would definitely make me happy. Because with that dreams are resolutions fulfilled. But these things will also mean a lot of fleeting unhappy moments for me because that means less shopping, less playful, and less everything. So I want to keep record of the things that would make me happy, without feeling guilty about it later. This means little things, things that I failed to recognize in my everyday life because I am busy going though it. I want to remember these things so whenever I feel sad about not achieving the 'big' things, I would realize that 'small' things could also pave way to my happiness. And actually, it's almost the same happiness. Almost.
I have these things in mind but I'm still planning to update it everytime I experience happiness in my everyday. I encourage everyone to keep track of your own 'little' happiness, too. :)
- watching the sunrise/sunset
-when someone surprises me with food when I'm really hungry
-when I paint my nails and it dries up flawlessly
-when I sing in the shower, or just anywhere
-whenever I cook
-and have someone appreciate it would be happier
-when I do someone's make up
-when I publish a post on my blog
-when someone I've met remembers my name
-when I take a good picture
-when I love my new hair color
-when I get a free ride
-when my friends buy me stuffs! haha
Aside from the 'little' happiness, they say that unhappy people lacks three things:
-Something to do
-Someone to love
-Something to look forward to
And if you have these 3 things, it will be very hard for you to be miserable. :) I don't want to sulk into loneliness just because I am lacking on the second.So until he/she comes, I will be busy with 1 & 3. Also, I wouldn't want to waste a day not doing anything. "The days are long and the years are short.", as Gretchen Rubin puts it. Sure, I want to have days where I can just lounge around my bed and do nothing but every day is a chance to learn a new thing.
So, I have this list of things I want to do. I hope I get to that one day.
-get into singapore polytechnic
-learn a new language
-learn how to drive
-to sign up in a make up class ( but I need to have a complete make up brush set first)
-read a book a month
-to go an a trip alone-lose at least 6kg
I hope everyone would see that happiness is just around the corner.
Goodnight. xoxo
This is one of the question I ask my friends whenever they feel down or depressed or, simply unhappy. Of course, we have big things in mind. I, for one, have this dream of getting into uni, venturing in a business in future, seeing my savings account have a lump of moolah for the rainy days in a year or two, and ALSO repay my parents by giving them the best for the rest of their life. Yes, these would definitely make me happy. Because with that dreams are resolutions fulfilled. But these things will also mean a lot of fleeting unhappy moments for me because that means less shopping, less playful, and less everything. So I want to keep record of the things that would make me happy, without feeling guilty about it later. This means little things, things that I failed to recognize in my everyday life because I am busy going though it. I want to remember these things so whenever I feel sad about not achieving the 'big' things, I would realize that 'small' things could also pave way to my happiness. And actually, it's almost the same happiness. Almost.
I have these things in mind but I'm still planning to update it everytime I experience happiness in my everyday. I encourage everyone to keep track of your own 'little' happiness, too. :)
- watching the sunrise/sunset
-when someone surprises me with food when I'm really hungry
-when I paint my nails and it dries up flawlessly
-when I sing in the shower, or just anywhere
-whenever I cook
-and have someone appreciate it would be happier
-when I do someone's make up
-when I publish a post on my blog
-when someone I've met remembers my name
-when I take a good picture
-when I love my new hair color
-when I get a free ride
-when my friends buy me stuffs! haha
Aside from the 'little' happiness, they say that unhappy people lacks three things:
-Something to do
-Someone to love
-Something to look forward to
And if you have these 3 things, it will be very hard for you to be miserable. :) I don't want to sulk into loneliness just because I am lacking on the second.So until he/she comes, I will be busy with 1 & 3. Also, I wouldn't want to waste a day not doing anything. "The days are long and the years are short.", as Gretchen Rubin puts it. Sure, I want to have days where I can just lounge around my bed and do nothing but every day is a chance to learn a new thing.
So, I have this list of things I want to do. I hope I get to that one day.
-get into singapore polytechnic
-learn a new language
-learn how to drive
-to sign up in a make up class ( but I need to have a complete make up brush set first)
-read a book a month
-to go an a trip alone-lose at least 6kg
I hope everyone would see that happiness is just around the corner.
Goodnight. xoxo
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