When i try to think of things i like about  myself, i never can. Sometimes i just feel that my life has no real meaning or direction but i'd imagine that the whole world was one big machine , machines never come with any extra parts, you know? They always come with the exact amount they need. So i figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. the big problem i'm having is, most of the time i struggle with being alone but everytime i have the chance to connect with someone i will automatically shut myself down and push them away.i just feel that it's so hard for me telling them how i really feel inside that they will be freaked out. i tried to forget my past for so long, but it has caused me nothing but unhappiness. or maybe it's time to remember? I don't like this about myself but i don't know how to stop.