♥

Before i start, be forewarn that this post is extremely photo-intensive. This wednesday i went to universal studio with my bestie - lara, yuankun, suiyang & junhoe. I have telling people around me how excited I was even though it wasn't my first trip to uss. We arrived there like around 10pm and the place was pretty pack.As you can see all of us in the photo had a "tired looks" because we don't have enough sleep! I had not expected such a big crowd since it wasn't a weekend. :/

I'm quite disappointed that we never take the ride of battlestar galactica which is the red&blue roller coaster. I think it was total wasted that we never play right? D: They all don't want to risk themselves having heart attack haha. Even suiyang & junhoe also scared so i'm the only one " brave girl" wanted to play. btw my mom also don't allow me to play because she think my fragile heart can't take the suspense.

We started our day via taking picture everywhere!

Our walking pattern are always same! ♥

We also went to watch the Sherk 4D show. We were brought into a empty room with a few big screens right at the top. The pre-show talk was way too long. I was sitting down on the floor while waiting for the show started. It's just rocking seats,splashes of water and some wind. The 3D effect wasn't fantastic either. The TRANSFORMER RIDE is much more better&fun than this! We queued 1hr 10 mins for this trans ride. but it was worth it anyway :) Yuankun keep wow-ing during the ride and the funniest thing is she was the only one made sound hahah. i can't stop laughing at her after we finished the trans show. IT WAS TOTALLY AWESOMEEEEEE! ♥

Every queue at there was an hour long. The sun was blazing that day & i felt like i'm melting into a puddle of goo -w- so we decided having our lunch at one western restaurant. the air-corn there make me refresh ~.~ junhoe and suiyang ordered a damn big pizza. We're just like tiny people eating the huge pizza hahha. Lunch was pretty good ^_^ 

our expressions here was kinda funny hahaha.

We played the MUMMY ride for thousand of times. First time we played we were screaming the entire time while we was on the ride. After playing a few times, we became braver and we told them we want to sit at the first row. we pushed yuankun sat at the first seat she almost cry. hahaha but this ride was totally awesome sia. junhoe said 10 mummy ride equal to the 360 ride that one. hahaha. after playing this, our back bones and necks was fucking pain. 

 THIS SO BLUR!! :(

i'm so lazy to continue so THAT'S ALL ABOUT! ♥

byebye.

PERFECT NOVEMBER?

Ever feel so afraid to lose someone around you and you'd rather keep all those emotions inside of you just becos you never want to take the risk of losing them? I feel so lost right now, sigh. I thought i've  mved on, but t those memories haunting me everyday. You know that feeling? Stop asking me what's wrong, it's the same old thing. I CAN'T WALK OUT FROM THE PAST. 

NOVEMBER, please be good to me.♥
i miss her.

-

Just when I thought I was getting better, when i thought i was finally getting passed all my problems, my sadness and my depression, I began to fall again. I used to be fragile but i have been broken for a while.Nobody can catch me or break my fall. They can only try to help me pick up the pieces once i have completely shattered on the ground. I hate i cant get over people who hurt me the most. I would like to believe that i overcame everything it on my own this year that what happened on me.But the truth is, I needed people.I needed somebody to do what I thought to be impossible. I needed somebody to save me out from the sadness. I needed somebody to kiss me those scars, instead of tell me to get over it and stop being "emo". I'm really needed love. (i'm like somehow asking people to love me.LOL-.-) and thought i hated it, i needed other people. 5 months so far and right now.I can say i'm okay without you, i'm alive, i'm breathing. I'm living i'm healing. but when people ask me about you my heart still pain.because i can't forget how i be treated by you.i didn't love you much or maybe it's just a small crash but everyone person once they came into my life i will never let them out from my heart. or maybe i'm too easy to get so i'm too easy to forget (?) i hate i'm being a bitch now. i forget you little by little, step by step.but when people talk abt you everything flow back into my mind again.i want to have a better life than you. it's pain see you're fine without me.because i know i mean nth to you.you can go around with all the girls hang out with them hug them kiss them.yeap, me too.because we doesn't mean for each other anymore. and we'd ady over like 12345678 months ago. and maybe you would think i'm funny holding on till so long, i just don't want to forget how you HURT me.i would like to thanks you for giving those happy,sweet,funny,sad memories. i  always smile to myself when the words/phrase you always said to me last time pass across my mind. you make me grow up, make me stand up from the pain.but most of all, i have slowly began to love myself even more again.this is the lesson that i'd learnt this year.

ABCDEFG

K. i dunno how to start a new post. i'm just so bored and nothing to do right now.
i get 4 A1 for my term 3, the others sub teacher never tell us. i scare i fail my eng again. :( jiayous next new term yayayayaayya.

//
i'm fear that every person i start to fall is just giving them a chance to break my heart. like once you you've been hurt and you scared to get attached again. i dunno how to express my feelings nowadays. i used to keep inside my heart cos i know it's not going to help if i tell my friends.i don't want to cry because it will make me worse. i felt like my heart is falling apart,but not only that,your life is also feeling like it's falling apart too. do you even have this kind of feeling? this is so hard to explain in words. The most confusing part is i wonder why the people who hurt me the most  and normally the one I love the most. like yet you finally sense of relief,like you're getting happy again but you inside you know you're start to not showing it not get over them.It will leaves a deep scar on your heart and forever never wash away. even how much i try to forget the pain but it's still easy to recall it everytime. this is what i feel this few months o.o yea, but im ady moved one and keep going.
don't treat me so good please,i'm really afraid of falling again.i try to ignore those people who keep caring me.sorry,but what i really want to say is thanks. ik you're the one who always motivate me and beside me when i lost myself.i'm not purposely to ignore i'm just afraid. afraid what the same thing will happen on me again and again. :)

I TRY TO BE THE PERFECT GIRL IN THE WORLD.

Digits mean you.

I think i'm using "草你" too much.Should really stop it but I can't control myself. It's just like the word just FUCK YOU out of my mouth ~.~
and my mind turn wild today,thinking about things will never happens.Not living in this world already LOL

I wonder why i still care about you when you don't even bother at all.why do i hold it so tight and can't let go.should zhufu you when i see you but i can't.I know i'm suppose to get going but it's easier said that done.Tell me who don't want to move on and get someone better?i tell myself not thinking abt the past but it doesn't work.how can you not feel sorry to me? bastardbastardbastardbastardbastard.
There's a reason why people meet and have feeling for each other.there's so many reason why people choose to go away from me,but sometimes when people leaves,that don't mean they don't have feeling.i didn't ask for your reason because i have zero guts to friend you anymore but i hope you will text me one day and tell me the truth,so that i will feel better and not hurt so much. you know i changed,i changed to not showing out my feelings to you,changed not text you anymore,but the thing that never change i miss you badly .

do you miss me just like sometimes i miss you?  

fuckupfuckup

no matter how much i try, i can never seem to forget you. maybe it was wrong of me to think i could keep you.i know so much time i wasted on you. so i already moved on and let go everything.i just hope you one day you look back and regret what you did for me. i found something can make me happier than you did.friend is always better than valentine.and family is always be with you no matter what happen to you. 

happy valentine's day :)

LASTLY FOR YOU.

I tend to thought that i see you everywhere I go but it was only illusion. I thought that person i see from far was you, then the back view of another person, and all those side view, those wrong angle of viewing things. I wonder if I had been thinking too much about you. I did once in a while & then stop. But whenever I saw someone that I thought was you, all the memories flow back.
i'm just HURT. you used 2 weeks to forget me but why do i need to use more than 2 months to forget you?it is unfair right! i dunno how many time i need to refresh your facebook profile to know what are you thinking or doing right now. i totally forget you this few days,but when people talking about your name or when i saw you in school, my heart sank. i feel desperate even you didn't do nothing for me but i still wish you to look back. i also dunno how to face all your friends now,do i still need to say hi to them or just act like we didn't know each other? because of you,i lost myself. allen said i'm just being abandoned by you. YES,it's true. common test is coming soon please study hard okay.i meant everyone. :)
i wonder why i still can remembered what you said to me everything until now. today is 28th. i don't expect anything with you on my birthday. you promised me you  will celebrate with me,but it's just a broken promise. i told you that many of my friends everytime said they sure would celebrate with me and give me a big suprised, but at the end of my birthday, they DIDN'T.so i said i won't believe your word,but you make it so serious you say you WON'T and you SURE. see, you are the another gal who make a broken promise on my birthday. if you really sure whether you can do something or not, don't promise to anyone okay?girl take it so serious and disappoint at the end.
i hate my birthday every year.and i never celebrate before actually,it's just a normal day,nothing change.
really find myself stupid to be thinking of the impossible, imagining those not-possible. Kept telling myself that I'm fine this way but I find myself lying. I think I'm losing it, really losing it all. 


 you make me strong but it's not enough bastard.i know you had moved on ,i hope you are happier without me. 1234567,doesn't mean anymore. i will let go just like how you let go so fast from now.i'm just missing all those memories but not you.there will always in my mind but you will forever disappear from my sight.this is what i can do for you now. stay strong huiliiii.

sound desperate.

now i was in a flashback mode.keep thinking about what we had do last few months.

you know, i can't let it go so easily or you don't even care about me

if you still love her last time then why you still keep ambiguous with me .i take it so serious because i really trust you believe you. but when i came back from china ,you changed. i appreciate how caring you were last time and i can still remember you bought a lot of sweets for me before i fly.it's just only 2 weeks can make you changed so much.i wonder what happen to you.(but now i know). that time i was still waiting for you to sms me but you didn't. i try to get close with you,as friend but you disappointed me everytime. and now i give up. we hang out more than 5 times,you sent me back home 2 times.i can remember it so clearly because it's my first time people do such things to me and so caring about me.

last week, i went to kallang leisure park again.all the memories came up into my mind all a sudden and i tried to hold back all my tears.it was my first time i met you there and we iceskate together.even though it was our first time met but we ady get close with each other .you hold my hand so tightly without gloves because you're afraid me fell down.that time i was so nervous but it feel so good.it was our first time hang out tgt andwe're so late to home :) the second times we watched Pirate of the the Carribean with your friends.3rd we ate lunch together went to pasir ris park after school. that time i stepped into all the dirty mud,you're so caring you knee down and help me clean all the mud on my shoes.i sleep on your shoulder in the bus.and you sent me back home. 

ohya,i still remember how i got to know you.it's 16/5 and you inbox me ask every things about me.and you told me you're malaysian too i'm so happy:).from that time we start to know each other well and you ask me to left my number down before i sleep :)we keep msg each other everyday non-stop.  there're so many things to say but i don't know how to express it. i know i am so 犯贱to reminds all the memories and make myself moody. i sound so desperate crying all over the things. 

you will never know what's the feeling of being cheated on,forgotten and replaced.this is what you always did .

CRUSH :(

I start to feel like I can't maintain the facade any longer,that I may just start to show the through. And i wish i know what's wrong what's right to me. WHY does people like to put up with the hypocrisy ,they need to put a smily face on sorrow. I'm being vicissitudes,I don't want any more of this try. I am so tired but no one know. Someone had stolen my heart away but he doesn't even care what he did for me. I know that what i need to do is just forget it and restart my life again.My target is pass my english the end of the year and don't crush at anyone again. Please.  My mood was very depressed this whole week i wonder why ..

& i have zero guts to "friend" him anymore. and we just like a stranger to each other.

J U N E -

Hey hey hey everyone. i've  2months never updated this blog already. I'm too tired to update
two blog in the same time. :/


i really dunno what am i doing after came back from the school vacation. I found that when i came back everything around me suddenly changed. must i pretend to be fine and just don't care? but i can't really do it.
my feelings is just like WHATTHEHELLISGOINGON?!?!?!
i feel so useless&helpless to myself. :(
just forget it everything and i will restore myself soon.


i want to go travelling around,probably alone.There are so many places that i wish to go. A perpetual travelling trip to stay in different countries every month is like perfect dream of mine but there is practical reality we all need to face:( i also don't think that my parents will allow me travelling alone. tsk, grow up faster please huiliiiiiiii!


next term i must study hard to pass my english or else i will stay back one year more:( help me to improve my english everyone.!! i want to take amath and pure chem&pure physic next year but i scare i can't cope it. ENGLISH is a big problems to me uh!! use less singlish,use less chinese words !!  wish watching english drama can help me to improve my english hahah LOL. i'm too boring to be here writing blog now haha.goodnight everyone, i'm still rushing my math homework! muacks.




and i forget to ask anyone want accomp me to go dessert buffet?it's best time for gaining weight !!!!! want then comment let me now . :) night.

suffocation.

i'm so tired to be a human. tired until suffocation.

i'm sick.i'm useless. i've nothing to be myself.

but life still goes on. i can't get used to living without you by my side.

i just need a true friend caring me when i am sick.encourage me when i depress. always by my side when i need you. 

now, i feel nothing important.

i found that i can't find a true friend in my new school. 

IHAVEAMATUREMIND. HAHAHAHA

i am just trying forgive everyone when they did something terrible to me.

SMILE, and everything will over.

A NEW FRIEND.

Just came back from Tampinies mall with Lily!
just now we played 碰碰车at tampinies funfair.awwww long time never play ady.

I can't wait for 14 May to come sooon!!! FLB 6 <<<

I just realised that "someone dunno what is FLB 6, okay la. it's flashlightbatteries flea market lah!!

LMAO . last time i went to FLB5 with yuankun and this time i' will go with Lily ,next time i go with??Lol

i'm so excited i'm so excited we go CHINA together after exam!

she is awesome and i like the way she talk.

she very direct first time i saw this kind of person so she is COOL!

and she is quite mature than others and her friends. 

one more week midyear exam is coming!!

excited? happy? stress? sad??? 

all the feelings mixed together!hahahaha 

i go study liao byebeyebybeyebyebyebyebeyebyey readers. 

AMAZING DIGITS

i'm so sad that i lost 6 thousands readers from my old blog.
the feeling is just like OMGOMGOMG WHATTHEHELLLLLL
:(

SUPERGIRL.

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 

SMILE,please.

when my hair become so brownie uh? teeeeheeeee**


my second valentine , dun always sick and emo okay? promise me please.
you make me sad because i feel useless can't motivate you .
i just can do nothing wish someone can cheer you up.
i dun have the ability to do this all thing. i am the useless one.
i love you friend, i wish i hope i pray you will be happy everyday.
:)


i have a lot of things wanna to say, but i dunno how to express with words.



tomorrow chinese oral test. but now i still dunno where my seat is :(
WISH ME LUCK TOMORROW. 
 ( i scare i speak too fast then fail chinese oral, Lmao.)

IF I CAN

If i can.
I don't want to be pretty ; I want be  handsome
I don't want be a girl ; I want be a boy
I don't want study ; I want shopping everyday
I want be a tom boy ; be a handsome girl
I don't want you anymore ; I just want your heart.
I don't want material comfort ; I want away be my side
I want everyone hate me. I want to be a bad gal


I want to finish my life and i want to give up now.
but i can't. i know my parents will sad. but i really tired.
what is L I F E stand for? is it meaningful ?


This two day i very emotional, i wonder why.
i wish someone will caring me , loving me.

A FRIEND.

A friend is someone who is always there, 
A friend is someone who will always care, 
-->but no one know i care about them. because no one will care about me.

A friend is someone who lends you a shoulder to cry on, 
A friend is someone who listens to you (even if you go on and on) 
-->when i try to lend someone shoulder to cry on, but she/he reject.

A friend is someone who's like an angel, 
A friend is someone who helps you no matter what 
--> i feel useless when my friend was facing problems but i can do nothing.

A friend is someone who loves you for who you are, 
A friend is someone who treats you just like family 
--> i will just say i love you to my true friend.

A friend is someone who calls you when their parents leave and they are grounded just so they can talk (even if for a short time) 
A friend is someone who might think about risking their life to save yours
-->i wish one day you'll be the one.

A friend is someone who is there to give you hugs and tell you it's alright when something bad happens 
A friend is someone who puts up with you always talking about the guy you like (even when they are tired of hearing about him) just because it makes you happy 
-->you did.

A Best friend is all of the above and much much more, 
A friend will never forget you even after you are gone.
-->so,who is my best friend and true friend, i wonder.
i'm not important. D:

very cute rite? this is my second time oovoo with yuankun :)

finally holidays is coming tehee* it is time to enjoy ourselves!

tomorrow amirah,yenny,najiba,floy,sean,suiyang,and ivan going to ice skate,this is my first time hang out with my classmates so i feel some strange . haha. it's a good chance to know each other well.

lara,weixian,yuankun. you're the one who always beside me and no one can replace.

lara, we know each other almost 3years ady right? it is amazing. We occasionally fought & got pissed & frustrated but we didn't have to explain anything to get un-pissed again almost instantly. i think it's probably because we're all straight talking & strange people and we just knew that we all are, hahh honestly, this is sorta amazing! :)

well, actually it is time to do my school's e-learning. but i'm too lazy and tired. i never ever woke up so early before at holiday. and e-learning is suck ,so lag. what the heck. 

yesterday my form teacher throw someone's table outside the class, it is my first time saw that teacher can do this such thing. cool. i think she will become mad soon. haha. my class is cool right? hehe*

waiting for tomorrow ice skating , dun aeroplane everyone !!:/

▲ △▲ △▲ △▲ △▲ △▲ 

PRETEND .

i like this picture because it look nature.<<what a weird mouth pattern haha.
 i like to  pretend myself with make-up and dress-up. but i really don't like.
so, no one will know what kind of person i am.
i always short temper can't control myself but now i try to suppression of my anger.
so far i pass all my subject i'm really happy.i thought i fail english. tehee**


today i feel useless, i am not important .

I'm a nerdy.

someone said that i looked like this freaky thing!! omg ,so i bought it : / Lmao.
finally CT over already !! wohooo.yesterday i hang out with yuankun and lara .
MISS.PARK accompanied me to PARKway. and before i bought the nike shirt i asked  for Park for her opinion but she keep nodded her head ONLY!! arg , i remembered you !!! hahah.


my sister get well  for her A level results, congraz :) then my father treated yuankun&lara korean bbq for celebrated .

HERE WAS THE PHOTO LAST NIGHT :

I HAVE A AWESOME SISTER ♥

O.M.G!! my sister bought all this for me !!

she just came back from TAIPEI!!

aww, but some look like so mature . >>she think i'm old D:

this also for me!! i love my sis!! she treat me so good 

i like the last shoes, so nice! 

i can't wait for tomorrow to try all the new clothes and shoes!

thanks god, i have a good sister :)♥

P!A!L!E!

Hey, long time no updated my blog! it look like dying again and i haven't logging into my old blog!!

i look so pale at this photo. exam make me exhausted 

everyday came back and take shower then study until night!! chiong chiong!

i wish i can pass all my test but it is impossible ! hist,geo,eng,and lit !! :'( sad..

2 more days finish exam ady, but i feel like 2 month.. 

wish me good luck :D

my sister just came back from taiwan with her friend, yeah she bought shoes and clothes for me

so jealous she can overseas with her friends :( wish one day i also can overseas with my best friends!

why everyone keep saying me look like 12-14 uh ?

my appearance and behavior look very childish meh.. okay whatever but i have a mature mind!

suddenly i miss you , we had ald 6 months no meet with each other

and now we became stranger  . how are you?

i try to avoid fall in love to anyone ,

because i want my first love can be grand and spectacular . is it impossible? D:

byebye, good luck to everyone for science test tomorrow :)

SECOND VALENTINE .

This picture is for NAJIBA ♥ let you see my mother and sister!

my father were not at there last time,haha !

do you want me intro to you ? 

my mother is a housewife and my sister graduated from dunman high school last year. her name is HUILING PHANG !

SAD,my shoulder is so slant in this picture :(

i took this picture when we were waiting the rain stopped at the bedok reservoir pak . 

she is so shyyy!! actually she dun like to take picture but she promised me will take pic with me next time :)

er,,,,, i haven introduce you who is she !!!!!!!! ----> 

she is my 2rd VALENTINE :) she is NAJIBA!!♥

and we are water sprayer and we're also LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!(hahahha)
she is the one who always encourage me , and give me confident 

and i also pass my GEO test  : )

i just pass but  najiba said 2e4 have many people failed so i pass is very good ald ,thanks najiba.

Let's play water on MONDAY. hahaha. remember to bring your water bottle uh:D

i love you forever , because you're les tooooooooo!

this post is for you , dun laugh at my english /sentence structure :@ !!!hahaha

GOOD NIGHT ,VALENTINE .

i love you more than you love me.DAD

i love you daddy. you're the best daddy in this world .

i always quarrel with you but do you know how deep i love you and care about you ? :)

this all chocolate i think i will finish it until next year haha.

all this chocolate my dad said almost $120++ ,he bought at changi airport. 

HEY friends. do you all treat me chocolate next time? hahaha(kidding..)

today i just bought a IMPACT then my friends finished all already = = haha. is okay lah. (walao, when i become so KIND uh???)    i take soom kit kat for desky and najiba (my 2nd valentine) tomorrow. haha,they damn funny sia. :D

WHY my father bought so many forrero for me? i wonder.

i think he just simply bought it bah.. 

he knew that chocolate can reduce my stress so he bought a lot..

:) love love love love you .

the forrero collection have 3 different types of forrero inside. wow, it look delicious sia.

wohoooo, i am so exciting now haha.

i will not eat them  soon because i scare i will get sore throat again. because i just recovered.

byebyebybyebeybey,tomorrow hist test. buck up everyone.

the more you say, the more you wrong.

why i am malaysian, why i am not korean,why i am not japanese ,why i am not taiwanese,why i am not ANGMO!!!!!!!!

someone said  i wrote my blog like compo, someone said my blog is interest because my eng is funny..

i wanna to tell you something , that what i did a stupid thing today. 

i woke up and my eyes was blur, i thought it was already 6.30a.m. (actually it was just 5.20am something)

then i kept scolded my maid why she did not wake me up . 

i bath as fast as i can , i didn't eat any breakfast and i  rushed to the  school. 

suddenly i just realized that why the road was still so dark , why the weather was so cold,why nobody was walking at the road, i thought 2012 is coming .. 

i picked up my phone and saw it was just 6am!!!!!!!! stupid sia,...does anyone did this stupid thing before? /.\

say more wrong more.

more to express your inner feelings , more the people say your gossip.

humans, are not a simple animal. F